I like to begin things with a quote because people before me have realized the importance of things which i write about, so my quote for today is about "Mothers".
"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." ~Honoré de Balzac
Today is the day that I had finals. One for Nutrition and one for a math class. Both weigh heavily on my final grade. I have always been the person to not study for tests, quizzes, or any sort of academic. Since arriving at college this has changed (another change to myself). I awoke at 7:30 this morning, and from that time my mind has been, well let me just say, not on finals. I went to breakfast around 9:00, mind still not on finals. After breakfast I went to my room and got dressed for the day.
I began studying and realized that I needed coffee terribly bad for the jump-start I would need to get my mind where it needs to be. While my mind still isn't where it should be, it is working quickly enough for it to be in multiple places, even if one of them is 272 miles away from me. I walked to Starbucks, through the rain and traffic that seemed to blindly drive by without my notice. The day was windy, bitter chill biting my face and hands. I tucked my hands into my pockets and put the hood of my sweater on my head. The fiercely cold droplets of water still soaked my face. Crossing streets against traffic and not thinking about the "Little white man" giving me the go to cross I finally made it to my destination. I opened the door for the pant-suit and heel wearing, blonde Bank of America employee, nodded my head as she acknowledged my gentlemanly gesture and walked in.
The aroma of freshly ground arabica coffee beans is like a smack in the nostrils from a girl-friend who has just found out about her cheating boyfriend. The shock from the smell arouses my brain and tells it to wake up. As I'm standing on the brown tile ramp behind suited business men and women I try to decide what to order. I read the special signs and the menu, I usually know exactly what I want, but standing in line I have time to find something new. I decide just as the Asian lady behind the counter asks for my order. My drink is made. As i listen to the constant clammer around me I wonder I will be able to study in this setting. I take my drink and quickly scan the room for an open seat, I find the plush green arm chair by the window I was hoping for.
I walked over sat down, opened my bag, took a sip from my coffee, remove my computer from my bag and begin studying. After studying vigorously for just over half an hour I decide that I need support and a confidence boost. I text my mother and she replies with some confidence boosting words, but still I need the extra help. The message that comes back was unexpectedly helpful. As I sat in one of the most crowded coffee houses on trade street at 10:45 in the morning, I almost began to cry, If the people around me could see inside my head they would see a lot of different things, but the most prevalent sight would be my emotions. Those never show on the outside. Thank GOD, otherwise everyone in starbucks would know that I was freaking out. As I was texting with my mother the emotions that have been boiling up for so long began to recide. At last, I'm calm, I'm confident, and I'm ready to tackle the world again.
It's amazing what a mother can do from 272 miles away. I felt as if she was there in the shop with me, talking, and then hugging me and telling me to go do it. Now as I'm typing this in the student lounge, I'm beginning to want to cry again, why? I'm imagining my mother right beside me and hugging me.
Now I've tackled one final, and going after the second one in 15 minutes.
You know what's next, yep that's right, the blessing. May your hunger for food be satisfied with wholesomeness, and your hunger for life, love, and happiness satisfied with knowledge and enlightenment.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Future
No man knows what the future holds, why is this? Because the future is the time yet to come.
Recently in my life things have been changing, these changes that have occurred, I've only just realized are extreme. When did i realize this? The time when the greatest thoughts are thought, in the shower. What was I thinking about in this shower? Well, allow me to rewind just a bit and I will explain everything.
Moving back to when I first started at JWU...Johnson & Wales has student employees that are called T.A.'s, or Teaching Assistants. These T.A.'s are the best of the best, must have their associate's degree, and be able to teach a class....back to today.
Now, let's go back to about 4 days (from the time I'm typing this). This is a Thursday, on this Thursday I was working a very special event for a very special person. When I was first offered this event I immediately accepted, but everyday I doubt myself and my skills. Why do I doubt, because there is someone better than me in every aspect of life. Because of this doubt, I'd never considered being a T.A. but this event made me change my mind. After working with a T.A. beginning to realize that my name is on every call list for special events, and realizing just how popular my name is in the office that would be the deciding office of my employment I am now going to apply (after I get my degree) and become a T.A...back to the present.
I was reflecting on my past more and more recently. I've found things in my mind that have been locked away deep inside the darkest and farthest recesses of my mind. Things that randomly are coming back to me. I've always said that if the only reason to love history is so that it doesn't repeat itself. Now learning about my history that I've kept hidden for so long, I'm thankful to say that I haven't made the same mistakes twice, but Instead I'm doing the opposite. I'm changing into who I want to be more and more everyday.
My future holds many unknown challenges, tasks, and that mountain that I'm going to go rock climbing on before i'm 20...Oh yeah and some free-falling in there somewhere. What will my future bring, I think that it will bring many welcomed things and many needed things. The people that are in my life right now, I hope they stay that way.
I'd like to leave you with my blessing. May your hunger for food be satisfied with wholesomeness, and your hunger for life, love, and happiness satisfied with knowledge and enlightenment.
Recently in my life things have been changing, these changes that have occurred, I've only just realized are extreme. When did i realize this? The time when the greatest thoughts are thought, in the shower. What was I thinking about in this shower? Well, allow me to rewind just a bit and I will explain everything.
Moving back to when I first started at JWU...Johnson & Wales has student employees that are called T.A.'s, or Teaching Assistants. These T.A.'s are the best of the best, must have their associate's degree, and be able to teach a class....back to today.
Now, let's go back to about 4 days (from the time I'm typing this). This is a Thursday, on this Thursday I was working a very special event for a very special person. When I was first offered this event I immediately accepted, but everyday I doubt myself and my skills. Why do I doubt, because there is someone better than me in every aspect of life. Because of this doubt, I'd never considered being a T.A. but this event made me change my mind. After working with a T.A. beginning to realize that my name is on every call list for special events, and realizing just how popular my name is in the office that would be the deciding office of my employment I am now going to apply (after I get my degree) and become a T.A...back to the present.
I was reflecting on my past more and more recently. I've found things in my mind that have been locked away deep inside the darkest and farthest recesses of my mind. Things that randomly are coming back to me. I've always said that if the only reason to love history is so that it doesn't repeat itself. Now learning about my history that I've kept hidden for so long, I'm thankful to say that I haven't made the same mistakes twice, but Instead I'm doing the opposite. I'm changing into who I want to be more and more everyday.
My future holds many unknown challenges, tasks, and that mountain that I'm going to go rock climbing on before i'm 20...Oh yeah and some free-falling in there somewhere. What will my future bring, I think that it will bring many welcomed things and many needed things. The people that are in my life right now, I hope they stay that way.
I'd like to leave you with my blessing. May your hunger for food be satisfied with wholesomeness, and your hunger for life, love, and happiness satisfied with knowledge and enlightenment.
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