Sunday, April 4, 2010

Me at this point


“I think of life as a good book. The further you get into it, the more it begins to make sense.” Harold Kushner


How true that is. I can relate. I've had some disappointments in the past months. After the first one, i was kinda hurt then i moved on and got over it, just as I was fine again, another came about, disappointments that left me thinking I wasn't good enough. Even though I knew I was good enough for something, I was doubting for what. I thought that I wasn't the person I was supposed to be and I wasn't going to be able to make anything happen. Well, was I wrong.
When I read a book, if I don't know anything about it, I read the synopsis first. Doing this gives me a little more information about my subject. I read, I exam, and I tear apart looking for a little more knowledge (even if it's just a new word). 

My question. Why doesn't life have a synopsis on the jacket of the nice hardback binding? When we are born we are all cute and fresh, just like a book after being printed. Books have a nice jacket, this jacket is to protect the very vital insides, the stuff that makes this book tic. Without these vital organs there would be no book. Babies have skin and bones to protect their vital organs. Oh the similarities. The difference is this book is yours to start and finish the story, it's been written and when you finish reading it you finish reading it. This baby, this life isn't yours to read, you have to live it. 

Why isn't their a nice little synopsis and a manual that says, "On this day a baby is born, he will begin life happiness leads to twists and turns throughout his life, as he ages he will face many trials, but rest assured reader the main character will prevail and after these trials the decisions made will be for a reason, and for the most part, the right ones. The character in this journey will live his dreams, live happily be what he wants to be, and finally die happily." 

Wouldn't that be nice, even if it said something like, "A baby born on a tragic night, causing it's family to risk everything, growing up without much, being depressed, he tries many things to harm himself. After dropping out of high school, living on the street for many years bumming from the people around him he dies, alone sad and in pain."

As bad as that is, at least the reader (person living the life in this case) knows what will happen. They know no matter what there is going to be a beginning, middle, and end. In this order and something is going to happen. No doubts as why things happen because they don't matter, what matters is that it does and while that very un-informational synopsis about the life of a boy is vague, the boy knows in one of two cases the outcome. So those small disappointments mean nothing. 

Well, wouldn't that be nice? Too bad it's not true. So we deal with things as we go with them. We read without a synopsis. If I would have had a synopsis for my life I would have known that those disappointments meant nothing to me. They happened for a reason. Now, I know that; then, I didn't. Now, I know the reason, just to say, I'm glad I was disappointed on both counts. 

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” Martin Luther King, Jr.


Up to this point I've been vague about these disappointments. So, for those of you who don't know what they were (like two people do) I'll tell you. Both disappointments were something I really wanted with all of me, at the times. They were both summer jobs working for the university, these jobs would mean that I would be living in Charlotte, working for JWU. I really love Charlotte and think that this is a place I see myself for a few years. Well obviously I didn't get either of these jobs. Why am I glad I was disappointed? Well, I now know that the plan wasn't for me to live and work in Charlotte, but somewhere better, making more money, and doing work that applies to my career. 

I've recently spoken with the Executive Chef at Westin Resort at Hilton Head. After speaking with said chef I found out I will be living/working at Westin in Hilton Head SC. The chef will be calling me back sometime this week to finalize some details then hopefully I'll be set for a summer job and my internship. 

Disappointments sometimes lead to happiness. One thing I know for sure is that the saying when one door closes another opens is completely true!!!!

I leave you for now with a blessing. May your hunger for food be satisfied with wholesomeness, and your hunger for life, love, and happiness satisfied with knowledge and enlightenment.